What are needs ? What are my needs and what are your needs ? Everyone has this thought and anyone who has relationships, dating, married, family –ties, parents-children, work mates, college mates etc.. As long as you have ties with another person, this question will arise.
Needs can equate to conditions or terms set either consciously or unconsciously. We have conditions set for our loved ones, our children, our employees, our employers, our friends, our pets and even for ourselves. How common it is to set conditions and when they are fulfilled, then the other party qualifies for names we give like ‘ respect ‘ , admiration, affection or sometimes even ‘love’. Most times it will be love.
How sad that most times people set conditions to the love that they give. Thinking it is real or true love, unsuspecting that it is actually really setting conditions to whatever that is on the outside so that their needs are met. Unsuspecting that when expectations that these conditions have to be met therefore , it will only be classified as Love. Unsuspecting that if expectations for these conditions are not met, they are bound for disappointment , emotional let down, anger, hatred , all forms of s suffering mind.
When conditions are set, there will be expectations naturally. Depending on what roles one plays, the expectations all varies. The roles that one plays , mother, father, teacher, husband, wife, lover all are met with conditions set to a conditioned mind. There are expectations demanded of all roles, whereby if the conditions or expectations set are not met, it will mean failure of projecting that role.
How weird. After all these roles are just names & roles given socially. Is it true that we are a failure if we cannot meet the conditions or expectations set ? Or if we take away the conditions & expectations, will we be able to love or return the love un-conditionally ? Not set by any conditions, expectations or standards. This will truly be the ultimate of what is really Unconditional True Love.
Another revelation today. Unsuspecting that I have always conditioned myself to be giving and tolerating, thinking that this is the way it should be and yet disliking it at times quietly. And feelings of being needed means that you are loved ? Hmm so untrue.. looking deeply inside , this separation feels that I am not being needed after all. How strange ! All these while when you thought that you were so important and needed in another person’s life when all it was , was just your own perceived thoughts conditioned by all the conditions set for a relationship. When the feelings of being needed turns the other way, does it turn into feelings of abandonement ?... Or perhaps feelings of freedom finally from the clutches of social expectations and conditions . Or maybe freedom from needs and being needed ?
No comments:
Post a Comment