THE LAST CRY

THE LAST CRY....

How does one says sorry ? Sorry. Just Sorry ! Sorry for the pain and anger I had put you through. I did not mean for you to suffer along with me and yet at times I did. Pain, anger and confusion was looming and it was these days that I want to escape and the only way was to put it outward. Finally, it is time for me to say goodbye as ‘YOU’ have lingered long enough for me to really wake up from this lie.

When I called YOU selfish and irresponsible, I was also reflecting on myself. When I said you abandoned me, it was me who abandoned you at one point, and I surely did abandon myself too. When you saw faults in me, you were looking at your own faults. When I was angry at you, I was angry at myself. When I judged you, I was actually judging myself. If you think that you have failed me, I think that I am a failure too.. On & on. It is always a mirror vibrational effect. Of course, we did not know better then...

Deep down I really, really know you tried your best and I know that I was unfair to you times when my emotions were deceiving me. I also did try my very best with US. Thank you for doing your best. Please be free from guilt, anger or hatred as I know these defiled feelings will result in unbearable sufferings.

We are confused creatures. We think we know so much, but every day is a learning journey for US. Everyday, if right energies are put in, the outcome will be magical. I'm beginning to enjoy this insightful journey, moment by moment. Then again there are days of sadness too. I too hope that you will find your way in life and also find your life's purpose, then you will be very clear on your future. To realise this, is to have freedom and happiness inside ourselves. This will be our shadow for life.

When time and conditions are right to make peace within myself, I will be able to make peace with thoughts of 'YOU'. And when this peace arrives, it will be followed by the 'REAL' true feelings of ‘Love’, which has no traces of needs, wants, expectations, anger, jealousy or guilt attached to it.

I hope that you will eventually find your own fulfilment and to discover the ' true' passion which you want to seek so that things will be different for you and the lives that you touch.

Goodbye My Dearest...

and thoughts of YOU, when it comes,

will always be cherished.

Lastly, a poem by a friend that I wish to share with you ~

It is Not Me that You Want ~ by GG

Soon you will realise that no matter what I do,

it will never make you happy.

Even when you think you could try to be nice, entice me

into getting me to give you what you want.

You will realise, that nothing that I do or even say,
will ever make you happy.

The harder I try, I will find that you further away.

No matter how close I get to you,
you will not see me there…
I have become invisible to you,
totally unseen in your awareness…

You see, my love… it is not me that you want,
it is not the things that I do which makes you happy.
And if you keep going on and on at me,
You are no longer loving me, my love… you are hating me…

And if you are hating me, why would you want anything from me?
If you hate me so much, why do you want me near you?
Geez… you must really hate me…
to bestow such huge responsibility on me to make you happy…

Can you not see, my love…
the hurt that is subtly calling you?
It is not me that is causing it,
but it is you that is calling out to you…

If you had truly love me as you claim,
then release me of this burden.
Reclaim what has never left you,
which you thought you had given me.

I am here all the while, my love…
I’ve never left you…
Until you have seen yourself,
then can I appear once more…